Ah! My Christmas Tales
by HotelKatz
Summary: This will one day be a small collection of X-mas tales. Not all will be connected in the same universe, though


Disclaimer: I do not own _Ah! My Goddess_, Santa Claus, various stories and songs about Santa Claus and/or Christmas, _The Hogfather, Scrooge,_ or anything from the Norse myths.

-oOoOoOo-

Chibi-Hild was reading _The Hogfather_ while laying on a couch she had restored with a spell. After Halloween, she had to go back to her main self for a few tasks. While not all that hard, they just took a lot of time, almost two months.

'_I bet Mara-chan will be happy to spend Christmas with me!' _Chibi-Hild thought with a girlish chuckle.

At that moment, Mara walked into the arcade, humming '_We Three Kings'_. She was wearing her uniform for the store she worked at. It was a white shirt with black polo pants. The demoness walked passed Chibi-Hild, apparently not noticing her.

"Oh, Mara-chan!" Chibi-Hild called out in a singsong tone.

Just as Mara was about to enter her room, she stopped and looked back. After a moment, she cheerfully replied, "Hello, Lady Hild!"

"So how's Earth's holidays? I bet the cheerful happiness really bothers you…" Chibi-Hild asked as she put her book away and sat up.

To Chibi-Hild's surprise, Mara laughed.

"You'd think that, but it's actually the reverse!" Mara answered in a near cackle.

Chibi-Hild let out an amused huff before she said, "Explain."

Mara placed her hands on her hips as she started, "How can I not enjoy the fact that humans everywhere are celebrating a twice-blasphemous holiday? The pagans had an area of the year stolen by the early Christians, claimed the son of their lord was born on December 25th, even though evidence in their holy book puts it closer to spring. Then the Christians pretty much had the holiday taken over by numerous corporations. All of whom look to how profitable Christmas is!"

Mara then let out a very satisfied belly laugh. When she was done, Chibi-Hild looked displeased.

"I'm pretty sure you got a lot of details wrong there, Mara. While I can't argue how numerous people turn this part of the year into 'who can buy the most presents', it seems like you grabbed the first bits of information that you liked and declared them to be truths," Chibi-Hild muttered as she laid back on the couch. "So what are you gonna do tonight? I was planning on watching a few movies."

Mara let out a confident huff before she answered, "I got a few presents to give to the goddesses, all of which will ruin the rest of the year for them and Keiichi!"

Chibi-Hild took out her book and found the place where she was before she closed it.

"It's some stuff I whipped up that'll effect their way of thinking! Urd's gonna get some booze that'll make her temper really short, Skuld's gonna get some ice cream which will make it hard for her to focus, and Belldandy's gonna get some tea that'll make her into a severe perfectionist! One that'll make Keiichi regret making his wish with her!" MAra explained before she laughed some more.

"So what's the time limit for them all?" Chibi-Hild asked as she turned a page.

"It'll all wear off at new years! Care to help me sneak in and place these in their little gift piles?" Mara asked.

To Mara's surprise, Chibi-Hild answered, "Nope. And if you know what's good for you, you'll won't head to the temple and will instead dispose of those 'gifts'."

Mara let out an annoyed huff as she walked into her room and closed the door to change into the clothes she first wore when she came to Earth. Chibi-Hild shrugged and muttered, " Can't say I didn't warn her…"

-oOo-

As she was hopping from phone pole to phone pole, Mara was humming '_We wish you a merry christmas'_ with an evil smirk. She carried a large green bag on her back and was wearing a santa cap on her head

'_This is gonna be one awesome weekend!' _Mara thought as she neared the temple. Once on the last phone pole before the temple, she stopped and crouched down. She then leapt into the air and gently floated down on the temple roof, only a soft crunch of snow interrupted the silent night. Like a thief, she snuck forward to the back of the temple as she thought, '_And now to sneak in and place the gifts under the-'_

She paused when she heard snow being crunched behind her, along with a jingle of bells.

Mara closed her eyes and let out an amused huff as she thought, '_So someone's decided to play Santa Claus for the pests inside this joint. No one's a match for me, so scaring them off will be a piece of cake!' _

"What kinda dumb… ass..." Mara growled as she turned around and opened her eyes. she trailed off when she saw the barrel of a very large horse, one much taller than she was. The distance between Mara and the horse was only a few inches apart. She nervously looked down and saw that the horse had _eight_ legs. Mara slowly began to look upwards as she quietly muttered, "Oh… Oh… Oh no…"

The rider of the horse looked to be about Male and about seven feet tall. They were wearing a bomber jacket, partially opened to reveal leather armor underneath. The rider's pants were trousers of the Anglo-Saxon style. A leather pilot cap was adorned on the rider's head and a scarf was around their neck. The biggest reveal to the rider's identity was an eyepatch on the rider's left eye.

Odin said nothing. Then again, none were needed, as Odin's expression spoke all that was needed.

_Leave now or face my wrath._

Gathering what few nerves she still had left, she said, "Y-you ain't so scary! I dare you to make me leave!"

"I once heard you transformed Keiichi Morisato into a few things to try and get Belldandy to leave. Perhaps some time as a Christmas tree ornament might be a fitting punishment?" Odin asked in a old, yet deep voice.

"Don't you dare! If you try such a thing, the moment I'm free. I'll pay the goddesses back doub-no, Triple the punishment you gave me!" Mara growled, still shaking like she still couldn't decide if she wanted to fight or flee.

Odin then held out his right hand and a spear with many magical runes written all over it appeared in his hand.

"D-d-d-don't forget about the doublet system, o-o-old one-eye!" Mara quickly said as she began to visibly shiver. "Y-y-you wouldn't go and kill a god or goddess, just to get rid of me, would you?"

"Did you forget that one of my names is 'Oathbreaker'?" Odin asked in a quiet, yet commanding tone. "I believe I might be able to get rid of you with no harm done to anyone of Heavenborn."

Mara made one big shiver out of fear. She then made a placating bow and took a step back. She repeated this a few more times, saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't do this again!"

When she was about to step off the roof, Odin said in an almost quiet volume, "Make sure to destroy the things in your bag and I'll forgive what you were about to do to my grandchildren."

"Yes, sir! Whatever you say, sir!" Mara quickly replied, making a salute.

"Then leave. Also, you were about to step off the roof," Odin said as he made Gungnir vanish.

"T-t-thank you! Have a n-nice night!" Mara cried out before she turned around and flew away as fast as possible.

Once Mara was out of sight, Odin snapped his fingers. His clothes changed to the Red suit with white fur trim that a good deal of Santa Claus depictions wore. Sleipnir leapt off the room and somehow quietly landed on the ground. After getting off Sleipnir, Odin rubbed the back of Sleipnir's neck and said, "you can take it easy, friend. In merely a few hours, My grandchildren will awaken."

Sleipnir nodded before he began to shrink in size until he was barely bigger than a large dog. After summing a bag of gifts, Odin chuckled for a moment before he opened the sliding door to the living room.

"It's been far too long since I've done this. Perhaps I should take it up again?" Odin asked as he began to add more presents under the tree. Sleipnir made a grunt noise, getting Odin's attention. Once Odin looked at Sleipnir, he noticed the eight-legged horse was holding a lantern in his jaws. Odin's smile grew bigger and warmer before he said, "You too? Then shall we?"

Sleipnir nodded.

Odin looked back at the temple's christmas tree as he went back to finishing putting presents under the tree. He said, "Then let me finish here and we'll be off."

After a few minutes, Odin stood up and began to walk back out. Sleipnir followed after him. Once outside, Sleipnir grew back to his larger size and Odin took the lantern from him.

"Then let's be off," Odin said before he activated the lantern's magic by lighting the wick inside.

To the rest of the world, presents appeared either in houses or near people in an instant. To Odin and Sleipnir, a moment seemed to last years and years. He didn't mind, as it had been a long time since he traveled the human's world and his time as a giftgiver.

Once back at the temple, he put out the flame on the wick. Sleipnir shrank back to the size of a large dog and the two went back inside the temple. Odin sat on the couch and Sleipnir laid on the ground.

-oOo-

_Hours later, when the sun rose..._

The three goddesses and Keiichi began to head to the Living room. Urd stretched and yawned. Skuld was rubbing her eyes. Both goddesses were still sleepy, but wanted presents.

"Dunno why you want to celebrate this holiday, Keiichi. It ain't your religion," Urd muttered.

"Well, heh heh heh... To be honest, my religious views kinda underwent a major change after you all came into my life! Besides, the holiday is like a monthlong party and the message 'better to give than to receive' seems admirable enough to celebrate it," Keiichi answered. He looked at Belldandy, who seemed concerned about something. "Bell?" as he nervously rubbed the back of his head.

"Did anyone else feel that something happened last night?" Belldandy asked. The others shook their heads as the group entered the living room. "Are you all-Grandfather!"

"Gramps!" Ud cheered, fully waking up upon seeing him.

"Pops!" Skuld happily said as she rushed over and tackle-hugged Odin.

"What brings you here?" Belldandy asked as she and Urd walked over to Odin. Keiichi stood back and watched the muscular Santa hug the the goddesses. It took a few moments, but Keiichi saw that the Santa had an eyepatch over one eye.

"Are you Odin?" Keiichi asked as Odin let the Goddesses go.

"Yes, I am. I am also the grandfather of your girlfriend and her sisters," Odin replied. He let out a laugh or two when Keiichi blushed.

"Y-You're not gonna-" Keiichi stammered before he got interrupted.

"Keiichi, I have no reason to put you through any trials. I know all possibilities of what may happen to you and Belldandy," Odin replied with a smile. His smile dimmed a bit when he said, "As for how…"

With his fingers, Odin tapped his scarf-wrapped neck and eyepatch.

"Oh…. Sorry about bringing up bad mom-" Keiichi quietly muttered feeling ashamed of himself before getting interrupted again.

"Keiichi, do not blame yourself. I made the deal long ago, long before your oldest ancestors were a gleam in the earth's eyes. But enough about that," Odin said as he reached over and picked up a present from the pile under the tree. "It's time for celebration and presents."

Both Urd and Skuld cheered before they dived for the presents. Keiichi and Belldandy looked at each other with a smile before they hugged each other.

-oOo-

_At the abandoned arcade…_

Mara was bound and gagged to a chair while Chibi-Hild was watching _Scrooge._

"Ah, Alistair Sims, you really are one of the better actors for the role of Scrooge," Chibi-Hild said.

Mara made some muffled noises, getting Chibi-Hild's attention.

"After this is done, then I'll free you and let you see what presents I decided to give you," Chibi-Hild said before looking at the TV screen.

_As for what some of the gifts Odin gave to the goddesses and Keiichi, Skuld got the expensive spanner set that Keiichi was unable to buy her, Urd got a mini-beer volcano from the Heaven Area that the Flying Spaghetti Monster resides over, Keiichi received some really rare model car kits, and Belldandy received a crystal necklace that would allow her to use low-level spells and not be noticed by humans while casting them, though the necklace would need recharging after a few._

_As for what Chibi-Hild gave Mara, it was footage of all the adventures and misadventures that Urd and Mara went on when they were younger. Mara didn't know whether to be pleased or horrified._

-oOoOoOo-

Notes' from HotelKatz : Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

And yes, Odin once delivered presents across the world in one story. In one story, Santa had a magical Lantern that could stop time, so he could deliver presents in time.

A round of thanks to vanagandr of the Goddess Relief Office Forum for a suggestion that improved the little chat between Mara and Odin. A round of thanks to elgordo of the Goddess Relief Office Forum for improving Keiichi's answer to Urd.


End file.
